★ As heard at Billy's birthday ★

Comedy Songs

Made to Order.

Give Bertie the details. He'll write a banger. You'll take all the credit. (Also great for roasting the coworker who microwaves fish.)

How It Works

01

Fill Out The Form

Tell Bertie who it's for, what the occasion is, and every embarrassing detail you want immortalised in three-chord glory.

02

Bertie Makes Your Song

Our AI songwriter (Bertie) channels his inner troubadour — verses, chorus, bridge, and exactly the right amount of cringe.

03

You Go Viral

Play it at the party. Post it online. Accept the standing ovation. Deny all responsibility if it offends anyone.

Hear the Goods

Real bangers Bertie has made. Press play. Try not to cry. Then order one for your person.

Birthday Banger

Happy Birthday, You Legend

Three verses, two choruses, and one legendary story about a lawnmower. This one had the whole room crying.

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Retirement Roast

So Long, Spreadsheet Warrior

A heartfelt tribute to 30 years of pretending to work while actually just forwarding emails.

0:00─:──
Office Roast

Ode to the Fish Microwave Guy

A masterpiece about workplace crimes. Management approved it. HR did not.

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No subscription · No surprises

Pick Your Banger

Quick Hit

$9.99

Perfect for a quick laugh

  • 30–45 second song
  • 1 revision included
  • MP3 delivery
  • Up to 3 fun facts
Get a Quick Hit
Most Popular

The Full Banger

$19.99

The whole experience

  • Full song (2–3 minutes)
  • 2 revisions included
  • MP3 + lyrics PDF
  • Verse, chorus & bridge
  • Up to 10 fun facts
Order The Banger

Gift Bundle

$34.99

The gift that keeps on giving

  • 3 full songs
  • Gift card included
  • Printable gift wrap
  • Unlimited fun facts
  • Priority delivery
Get the Bundle

Tell Bertie
The Vibe

Fill this out. Bertie does the rest. Usually ships within 24 hours.